January 27, 1998

SEX QUESTIONNAIRE MAY DO THE TRICK

Future Presidential candidates should fill out a questionnaire on sex. In view of the volume of alleged sexual improprieties by President William J. Clinton, the questionnaire undoubtedly would help the media save time on research. It doesn't matter if the President is guilty or not, it's the gripping speculation that is dominating the reports in the press. It's ten o'clock, do you know where your President's penis is? Maybe everyone in government should wear a wire and have a tiny camera attached to their private parts. The pictures and the wire transcript could be transmitted directly to a special persecutor's office. Of course, all this would need congressional approval . That approval probably would not take longer than it has taken to get campaign finance reform.  Is the questionnaire the way to go? We think it is! Here are the questions!

Presidential Candidate Sex Questionnaire

Are you married?___ Are you divorced?___ Are you single?___Do you have a significant other?___ Do you have sex?___yes ___no Are you Heterosexual?___Homosexual or Lesbian?___Bisexual?___Eunoch?__ Asexual?___ Too old?___ How often do you have sex? Do you cheat on your wife?___If your answer is "yes", please give a detailed explanation.__________________________________________________________ Is rough sex a part of your sexual activities? As President, do you plan to have extramarital affairs? If extramarital affairs are in your plans,are you going to tell your family? Will you hold a press conference to inform the public? Will these affairs be with campaign staff, government employees, or outsiders? Will these affairs take place:in the White House?___on the grounds of the White House?___at other government facilities?___at hotels and/or private homes?___ within the United States?____in foreign countries?___ Please write an essay of 300 words or less defining and describing your attitudes about sex. Please be frank. NOTE TO PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: A "YES" answer to any #5 thru #10 question may jeopardize your sex life, your privacy, your family life, and most of all your candidacy.This is a public document. James C. Benerofe January 27, 1998 Editorial #5